Let’s be honest, all you hopeless hipsters out there need some serious advice, especially when it comes to dating. And who to better advise on true love than Denver’s most lovable Matty Clark — rock club owner, Zebroid, daredevil, and pretty smart guy.
Dear Matty,
Does true love exist? Will I ever find it?
Nope. You might think true love exists, but then true love leaves you for an improv comedian and you begin a series of relationships with girls much, much younger than yourself that, while certainly very entertaining, ultimately leaves you feeling hollow and empty inside.
Just kidding. My cold, dead heart aside I believe sure, you can meet that one special someone or whatever and be with them for the rest of your life. I think the secret is that you can’t go looking for it. All of my successful relationships started when I wasn’t even remotely interested in having a girlfriend. I think of it like that poster in your high school guidance counselor’s office “Happiness is like this fucking butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder” (which by the way is totally yoinks). If you’re looking for it, you aren’t going to find it. For example the classic bachelor move of cleaning up your dumpy single-guy apartment before you go out at night- making your bed for the first time in a month, cleaning up all the beard trimmings in the sink and the shit stains in the toilet, doing the week-old dishes- all in the chance that maybe, just maybe, tonight is the night you’re bringing someone home. Because that happens exactly never. You only bring someone home when your house is totally fucked and the entire place smells like your cat’s litter box. I guess my point is if you’re looking too hard, you aren’t going to find it. Not really anyway, not something that lasts. You might find something that’s okay for right now, but inevitably it shits the bed leaving you wondering what happened and you’ve wasted your time.
Being a bartender, I see the dance every night. All these people desperately flailing about to find love, even if for one night. These days so many of our interactions take place through a lens of some kind (Facebook, Instagram, text messaging, etc). Human interaction is becoming a lost art, and I watch the generations under me reaching and clawing for the attention they so desperately need, because guess what? There is no “Like” button in real life. Approval in reality is shown in different ways than just a click of a button. Conversation must be created right on the spot instead of carefully formulated bon mots on a keyboard. And since everything in life now happens SO FAST we want this true love thing and we want it RIGHT. NOW. And that is not how it works unfortunately.
So in short, true love, sure. Just take your time with it. “Do you” as Russell Simmons would say. All that other shit will come to pass in due time.
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Have a question for Matty? Email audiovoredenver@gmail.com with your most pressing questions.
